What you see is what you get
by Spikelvr
Summary: FINISHED! NEW LAST CHAPTER RE-DID THE ENDING CUZ YOU GUYS DIDNT SEEM TO LIKE IT VERY MUCH! Buffy is a geek and has had a major crush on Spike Giles since she was litte so she decides to change to get his attention and what happens when he starts recogniz
1. Geek

_Brrr_. She thought as she sat on her back porch, her mom and dad had been fighting again and she really didn't want to be in there when it was going on. She heard the shattering of glass and her mothers muffled cry. "Get the hell up woman!" Her dad screamed at the top of his lungs.

Buffy let out a whimper and finally burst into sobs as she heard her mom scream. "You ok luv? Buffy turned up her tear stricken face to look at the man who had spoken to her. Her eyes widened when she realized that it was Spike Giles the man of her dreams.

"Spike?" Buffy looked at him confused "wh…what are you doing here?"

"Well god you were cryin so I came to see if you wanted some company, but a bloke can take a hint when he is not wanted, I guess I will just…." He turned around to leave.

"NO!" Buffy yelled, a little to anxious, he looks back at her and raises an eyebrow. "I…I just need someone to stay her with me."

"Ok pet" he grinned as he made his way over next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. She heard glass shattering once more. Spike felt the hot tears begin to fall on his t-shirt and he held her tighter in his muscular arms. _How can things feel so right here and yet so wrong when I am in there_? She glanced at the house. Then leaned into Spike closer. She lifted her head to look into his icy blue eyes as he leaned down to kiss her, their lips were just inches apart…

"Buffy, wake up" She slowly lifted her head up, _damn just when things were getting good_.

"Thanks Xand, really wanted that" She said as rubbed the back of her neck.

"How are ya feelin?" Xander asked.

"Peachy with a side of keen….and possibly a splitting headache." As she rubbed her neck again.

"O please don't tell me you were dreamin about Captain Peroxide again!" Xander looked at her obviously annoyed. " Buff, he is a waste of time and a know at all jerk, he doesn't deserve you."

Buffy looked at him with eyes of adoration, Xander was like big brother to her and always was a little jealous of her crushes. Buffy didn't understand why, she wasn't exactly much to look at, she had her sunshine blonde hair back in a ponytail, her fairly large glasses, she never wore make up, and never went tanning so her skin was very pale. "So what if I did Xander, what are you jealous?" Buffy smirked

"I think he is Buff" Willow said, Buffy turned to her, Willow had been Buffy's best friend since as long as she could remember. Willow was beautiful she had nice tanned skin, long red hair, and was never seen without make-up.

"No I'm not!..I…I…am just concerned for Buffy, don't want her to go and get hurt." Xander smiled at Buffy.

"I think I can take care of myself Xander but thank you for your concern." Buffy said. She glanced over at the table straight ahead of them. There in a group were 'The Cordettes' the most popular people in school _and not to mention the hottest_. Buffy took a second to stare at each of them. There was Anya Jenkins, Cordelia Chase, Liam O'Conner (Angel), Drusilla and Harmony Kendall, and last but certainly not least William Giles (Spike).

Buffy stared at Spike a little while longer until Drusilla came up behind her and said Take a picture it'll last longer." And the group went away snickering. Buffy just rolled her eyes and looked back to her friends.

Xander sighed "Give it up Buffy" as she saw Spike drape his arm over Drusilla.

Buffy glared at Xander then her expression softened, "yea your right Xand, I guess Spike won't notice someone until they have a hot bod." She sighed _well we'll have to see what we can't do about that…._


	2. Changing

Ok ok, lets see I want Spike to notce me so… where do I start. Buffy pulled out her mirror and looked at herself, she sat there trying to figure out what she needed to do and what was possible for her to do. I can't do this by myself I need some helpsomeone who knows what to do and has good ideas hmm… and then it hit her. Of couse I don't know why I didn't think of that before! She ran downstairs and grabbed the phone and ran back up to her room. 

"Hello, can I help you?"

"Hey, Mrs. Rosenberg it's Buffy, is Willow around?"

"Yea one sec sweetie."

"Hello…O hey Buffy, whats up?"

"Hey Wills, can you come over today I am going to the mall and I need your help with something….great see ya in about a half hour." Buffy went downstairs and hung up the phone. She squealed, _I can't wait! Oh my god I am so excited. _Buffy calmed herself down ane went back to her room, she opened the colset and grabbed a large jar; she took out all of the money that was in it. _Desperate times call for desperate measures. _

Half an hour later….

Willow knocked on the door; she still had no idea why Bufy needed her to go to the mall. Willow shrugged. Buffy opened the door and motioned her in. Willow followed Buffy upstairs.

"Ok" Buffy said. "The reason I wanted you to come over was because I want to start wearing make-up and go to the tanners and stuff but… I don't exactly know what to get and I don't know what to do…"

"Oh my god, Buffy!" Willow squealed. "ok lets get started" She bent down to look at Buffy's face. "You should get out a pen and paper." Buffy quickly went across the room and grabbed some and walked back to the bed. "Ok first off we need to pluck your eyebrows and wax your legs, you need to get contacts, get your hair cut, by a bunch of make-up, go to the tanners, and buy new clothes."

Buffy looked up from the sheet of paper, "got it" Buffy went and grabbed a pair of tennis shoes "ok, lets go"

"Oh I am so excited Buffy, I have been wanting to do this forever, but of course you knew that, as your best friend I say bravo." Willow said with a smile. They pulled into the parking lot and found the nearest space available. "Ok what's fist on the list Buff?"

"Ummm , a waxing and hair cut." So they headed to the beauty salon.

"Hello, my name is Jenny Calendar, what can we do for you today?" The woman smiled

"We need a waxing and a hair cut" Willow said

"You got it, come with me…."

"Buffy"

"Ok Buffy, right this way" Willow could hear it over and over again and she winced every time. _Rip….Scream…Rip….Scream._ Finally the ripping and screaming stopped thank god cause Willow didn't know how much more she could take. After the haircut was done Buffy came out and Willow couldn't believe that the person that went in there and the person who was standing in front of her where the same person. She now had her hair come right below her breasts and it was in soft wavy curls and her eyebrows were no longer in large bushes but sleek smooth lines.

"Is it that bad" Buffy asked seeing Willow's expression. She turned around to look in a mirror, but Willow quickly grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the salon.

"O no sister you don't get to see yourself till you are done." Said Willow.

"O come on," Buffy whined, "I wanna see it."

"Nope" and Willow kept dragging her over to the eye doctors……

"Just put them in already."

"No its gonna hurt." Buffy said "I am so not putting that in my eye." Willow rolled her eyes and leaned down to whisper something in Buffy's ear. Buffy's eyes widened and she quickly got to work putting in the contacts.

The doctor looked at her in shock, "How in the world did you get her to put in those contacts?"

"I just told her, what would Spike think." Willow grinned.

Later at the clothing store Willow was trying to coax Buffy out of the dressing room. "Please Buffy, it cant be that bad." Buffy slowly inched her way out of the dressing room. She was in a pair of tight black pants and a small red shirt. Willow thought she looked amazing with her nice tan and everything. Apparently so did the guy standing next to her as he moved his eyes over her. "Hey paws off she is takin." He glared at Willow before leaving. They bought some make-up before heading home.

Willow applied some make up and then some more and Buffy sure hoped it was worth it. "Done" Willow said triumphantly and Buffy turned around to look in the mirror, Willow bit her lip. She stood there in shock and all she could say was so quiet that Willow could barely hear it.

"Oh my god."…


	3. Bronze

Buffy just stared at herself in shock. She brought her hand to her face and then brought it back down to her side. Willow bit her lip in anticipation, as she tried to hold back her squeal and finally burst when she couldn't hold it any longer.

"Oh my god! Buffy you are so pretty!" Willow said with a large grin on her face.

"Thanks Wills. I couldn't have done it with out you." Buffy said and then grabbed her best friend in a hug. Buffy turned to look at herself in the mirror once again. "Hey Will I got an idea, why don't we go to the Bronze tonight." Buffy asked hopefully.

"Sure Buff, Oz is playing tonight anyway, so I was planning on going."

"Great, lets go." Buffy ran to the door with Willow closely following.

The Bronze was very busy, Buffy strained her eyes looking for the only reason she wanted to come to the Bronze and she found him, her heart dropped when she saw he was making out with yet another one of his little tramps. Buffy recognized it as Faith, one of his regulars. Buffy sighed; _o well there is always Monday_. She looked around the Bronze again and noticed Willow talking to Xander, so she headed over.

"Hey guys." Buffy said as she approached the table.

Xander looked her over, "can we help you?"

Buffy made a fake hurt expression "Xander, it's me…. Buffy."

"B…B…Buffy?" Xander looked shocked, "Is that really you."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "duh."

"You can stop ogling Buffy now." Willow said with a smirk

"I wasn't ogling!" Xander said defensively "I am just shocked that she actually did this to herself, she always talked about doing it but she never actually did it."

"Well I did." Buffy said happily, she glanced over at Spike again only this time he caught her eye. She quickly turned around to her friends again. "So, anyone want drinks, I want drinks, I am gonna go grab a drink." She gave a nervous giggle before running off to the bar.

As she waited for the drinks at the counter she felt someone come up behind her and slowly lean down near her ear. Buffy sighed she knew the smell of cigarettes and liquor came from only one person. "Well, hello there luv, and who might you be and why haven't I seen you around before."

Buffy turned around to tell him but then it hit her _No play it cool don't let him find out yet have a little fun with it first._ Buffy just looked up at him with a grin "Wouldn't you like to know." She grabbed her drinks and walked straight passed Spike and started to walk over to her friends. _Well isn't she a little fireball, it'll be fun tryin to cool her down. No problem I always get the girl. _ Almost as if Buffy could read his mind she turned around and said, " This girl isn't that easy to get." Before she turned around and made the rest of the way over to her friends.

Spike just shrugged and started looking around for another, more willing girl to grab. _Anyone who isn't Harmony…hmm I wonder where Anya is._

Buffy sighed and handed her friends their drinks.

"I saw Spike talking to you, are you ok Buff?" Willow asked concerned

"I'm fine Will, actually I am better than fine I am great" Buffy said with a large grin on her face. _I can't wait until Monday_


	4. School Day

Buffy groaned, rolled over, and groaned some more. "Why won't tomorrow come?" she said in frustration. She was too excited about playing with the minds of everyone at school with her new look _especially spike_. She looked at the alarm clock again, 3 a.m. "Ok! That's it I can't take it anymore there is no way I am gonna get to sleep."

Buffy got out of bed and headed downstairs she grabbed the instant hot chocolate and put some in a cup and then shoved it in the microwave. She then went to the cupboard to look for some little marshmallows. She found them just as her hot chocolate was finished. She grabbed it and sat down at the counter, sighed, and took a sip of her hot cocoa.

Spike looked at his alarm clock it said 3 a.m. He sighed and got out of bed. He had had trouble sleeping ever since he had seen that girl at the Bronze. He didn't know what it was but she was different than other girls. Most to him it was a wham bam thank ya mam. But he couldn't get that girl out of his head. He grabbed some hot chocolate and put it in the microwave. He got out his little marshmallows and then added them to his cocoa. He sat down at the table and took a sip….

Buffy closed her locker and went to find Willow. She was greeted by many guys looking her over and whooping. Buffy blushed and bowed her head as she walked through the halls. She wasn't used to this type of attention. She made it outside and saw Willow and Xander sitting at a small picnic table. She was about to head over when Cordelia Chase stepped in her way. "Excuse me, I am gonna go sit with my friends could you please move out of my way."

"No, just listen to me for a second, your dorky friends can wait. I just wanted to let you know we don't do this often. We want you to join our group The Cordettes. Don't take this lightly, this is an honor to be even talked to by a Cordette."

"Thank you, but I would never become a Cordette if my life depended on it. Now if you excuse me I am going to go over to my _dorky _friends." And Buffy walked around a very stunned Cordelia and she went and sat down with Willow, Oz, and Xander.

During lunch Spike looked over at the table and smirked. He slowly headed over put his hand on Xander's shoulder. "So, mate , where is my little admirer today." He said with a large grin plastered on his face.

"She is…."

"Sick!" Buffy interrupted and gave Xander a warning glance. "She came down with.. the Stomach Flu." Buffy didn't know how much longer she was going to keep this up, but she just didn't want Spike to know who she really was yet. Besides this was to much fun.

Buffy headed to Biology and sat down in the nearest seat possible. Spike sauntered in and sat behind her. _O great the one day he actually comes to class_. "Hello, again luv, you know if you aren't gonna tell me your name I am gonna find out in a sec, cuz we have attendance."

Buffy face went into shock. _Omg I completely forgot about attendance, o well I can't keep this up forever._ "Spike!" The teacher yelled out.

"Here" he yelled just as loud as the teacher, the teacher looked at him "what, you are gonna yell so bloody loud we are gonna go deaf, but I can't?"

The teacher rolled his eyes, and went back to the list. "Buffy!"

Buffy looked up "Here" she said so quietly she could barely hear it. Spike turned and looked at her in shock. He looked her up and down and then up and down again. Buffy gave him a nervous smile "Surprise."


	5. True Feelings

A/N: I just wanted to thank Em-958, your reviews are so sweet and make me feel good to be a writer. Thank you to everyone else who reviewed too. You guys are great. On with the story!

Spike just stared at her in shock. "Spike… are you gonna be ok?" Buffy asked never thinking that he would be this shocked. "Say…something" Buffy said frowning

"B…Bloody Hell" He said. _No, No No No No, I can't be falling for Buffy. I can't it just isn't possible. I will just forget about what I thought about her. I can't love her, she is…. Buffy. She sure is hot though, and those legs. No, No bad thoughts. _Spike shook his head as he snapped out of his thoughts. "Summers, figures you would do something like this. What? Hoping to get my attention. Sorry luv its…it..its not gonna work." He said as he gulped down hard when she put her leg over her other one.

"For your information Spike, I did this for me, to feel better about myself, because believe it or not, not everything in the fucking world is about you!" She said trying to hide the hurt that she felt at the fact that he still felt nothing for her. She quickly turned around and looked at her textbook. She quickly wiped away the single tear that dared come from her eye. _I can't believe that jerk! He is such an ass-hole. I will be ok, there are plenty of other guys that I am sure will not treat me like nothing._

The bell rang and Buffy quickly grabbed her things and left. Spike didn't leave in such a hurry he kept thinking about Buffy. _Damn, why did I have to act like such an ass. I think she might have even cried a little. Why is this bugging me so much, I mean yea I never really did like making fun of Buffy. It always has bugged me to see her in pain. But these feelings why won't they just go away. _He shook his head again and headed out to his car.

Buffy looked at herself in the mirror she was wearing a small black skirt, a red spaghetti strap, and high boots. She fixed her hair a little, grabbed her jacket and purse and headed out to the Bronze.

Buffy entered the Bronze, which was crowded as usual. She looked around and saw Willow sitting by herself and headed over. She never saw those pair of blue eyes follow her movement from the moment she got in the Bronze till the moment she sat down. "Hey Will, Xander not come tonight?"

"No he's here, I think I saw him head over to the closet with that Anya girl. He always did have a thing for her and well… she would go in a closet with anything that had a penis." Willow said with a grin at her insult.

Buffy giggled, her smile slowly faded as she saw who was coming over to the table.

"Hello luv." Spike said a little more nervous than normal.

"What you got tired of being a pain in the ass at school, now you are gonna do it when I go out to have a good time too?" Buffy said more than a little pissed off.

"No..it's just…I…Buffy will you dance with me?" Spike said as he sighed, relieved to finally get it out.

Buffy just stared at him in bewilderment. "What? Is this your idea of a joke? God Spike you are an ass, to come over here and make fun of….." She was cut off by Spike grabbing her wrist and leading her out onto the dance floor. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like, I am trying to have a nice dance with you."

"Yea the _with me_ part I don't get" She said as she slowly swayed with him to the music.

"Please Buffy don't make this hard on me, I have had these feelings for awhile and I need to find out how real they are to me." Spike said staring into her eyes truthfully.

"O..o..ok" Buffy said with a small smile plastered on her face, while in the inside she was grinning like the Cheshire cat. _Oh my God! He just said he has had feelings for me for a while. So does that mean he liked me before I changed. Yea right Buffy get a hold of yourself, like he would just like you for you…_Buffy sighed.

She looked up at him and into his bright blue eyes and felt like she was in heaven. Like being right here in his arms was were she belonged….

Hey! I am having a case of writer's block please review and give me some suggestions. That would be most helpful! Thank you


	6. Accepting

He held her close as they swayed to the music. She felt him stiffen a little and she looked up to see what was wrong she followed his glance to see the Cordettes coming in the door and she quickly let go of Spike and ran off. Spike looked at her confused for a second before running after her. She made it to her car and was about to get in, when Spike caught up with her.

"What's the matter luv?" Spike asked concerned.

"God, What is your problem?" Buffy asked a tear in her eye. "You think you can be all sweet and nice, but you don't want to be seen with me in front of your friends. Well news flash Spike I am not like the rest of your little whores. I want a relationship, and I am not just a hot body, this is me Spike. I am still the same Buffy and if you can't accept all of me then I can't accept you." She said with confidence and turned around got in her car and drove off.

Spike just watched her drive off. He sighed, "Bloody hell, way to go Spike."

-

Buffy slammed her car door and headed into the school. She grabbed her books out of her locker and headed to where she and her friends hung out before school. Willow was sitting alone at the table. Buffy sat down across from her and looked around. "Where is Xander and Oz?"

"Oz is sick, Xander is probably in a closet somewhere with Anya." Willow said.

Buffy rested her chin in her hand and sighed. "This is gonna be a slow day."

Buffy's eyes widened and then relaxed. She looked at Willow and tried hard to pay no attention to the man walking by their table.

"Buffy are you ok?" Willow asked. "O" She said as she saw Spike sit down at the table behind Buffy. "So, how did it go last night with….everything."

" The Cordettes came in, I went out, he tried to run after me I gave him a little speech and left." Buffy said. "I told him that if he can't accept me for me and if he just wants my body then I cant accept him."

"Way to go Buff!" Willow said and a bright smile formed on her face. " Buffy I am so sorry, I thought that you….you….ya know with him and the room and…Buffy I am so ashamed of myself I should have had more faith in you." Willow said putting her head down.

"Willow its ok, I mean I can understand why you would think that." Buffy said and smiled. Willow lifted her head up and looked at Buffy. She quickly stood up went around the table and gave her friend a hug.

"Buffy you are the best."

Spike had listened to the entire conversation, he never had noticed how kind and forgiving she was. He was in deep thought when Drusilla walked behind him and grabbed him by his waist. "Hello luv, wanna give it one more go before we go to class." She said and nipped on his ear.

Spike shook her off and stood up. "Not today, pet." Drusilla pouted out her lip and looked at Spike.

"There is someone in your heart, isn't there?" Drusilla asked. Spike just stared at the ground and didn't look up. "I may not know who it is yet, Spike but I will find out." Drusilla said before turning around and walking away. Spike sighed.

He opened his eyes just in time to see Buffy walk into the building and head for class. He quickly ran in the direction in which he had seen her gone.


	7. Date

Spike chased after Buffy down the hall, he was just about to catch up to her when she walked into a classroom. Spike stood outside the door looking at Buffy. She paid no attention to him so he finally gave up and turned around. He got about half way down the hall and stopped, he leaned against the lockers and sighed. _I screwed it up…_

Buffy turned around and looked at the place Spike had stood. _Get over him Buffy it is not like he would ever really care about you. Just find something to get him out of your mind_. "Hey, my names Parker." Said a brown haired guy as he sat down next to Buffy. "I was wondering if maybe you would want to go to the Bronze with me tonight?" He said looking at Buffy hopefully. _This is perfect! This should get Spike out of my mind…at least for a little while_.

"I would love to go to the Bronze with you." Buffy said with a large smile.

"Great! I will pick you up at about 8. Is that ok?"

"Perfect" Buffy said just as the bell rang and she ran off to find Willow.

She saw Willow sitting at a picnic table eating her lunch. Buffy quickly ran over to her and sat across from her. "Will, you will never guess what happened."

"What?" Willow said with a mouthful of chips.

"I got a date with this really nice guy named Parker." Buffy said.

"That is great Buffy! So you are over Spike….?" Willow said feeling a little uneasy about saying it.

"Spike who!" Buffy said with a fake smile spread across her face. _The Spike of my dreams that's who._

Buffy kept staring at herself in the mirror, she wanted to look perfect for her date. She had picked out a red tank top, a small black jacket to go over it, a small black skirt, and some high black boots and her hair fell down in soft curls.

The doorbell rang and Buffy practically leaped down the stairs. She adjusted her hair a little before opening the door. Parker just stared at her in awe, "You look amazing, let's go." As he offered her his arm, which she grabbed as they went to his car.

They pulled into the Bronze and walked in. Buffy looked around and saw Willow and Oz sitting at a small table. She also saw Spike….sitting alone. _Whoa that is something you don't see everday_ Buffy thought. "Hey I see my friends Willow and Oz do you wanna go sit over there?"

"Sure." Parker said.

They sat with Willow and Oz for a while talking and laughing. Parker and Buffy danced for a few songs before sitting back down by Willow and Oz.

Buffy noticed Parker getting a little uneasy. "Parker is something wrong?" Buffy asked a little concerned.

Huh? O no, I..ah..I gotta go to the bathroom I'll be right back." Parker said as he walked off.

Buffy sat with Willow and Oz for a long time waiting for Parker to get back. "Hey Buff, it is getting late we are gonna head home. See ya tomorrow, bye."

"Bye Will." Buffy said as she continued to look around for Parker. When she felt someone walk up behind her. She turned around expecting to find Parker, but instead there stood Spike.

"Hello luv, I got an idea of where your so called date might be." Spike said as he stared at her. "Follow me."

Buffy reluctantly got up and followed…..

A/N: Sorry I know cliff hanger, but I bet you all can guess what he was doing. I want to thank Emma again and everyone for your reviews. Sorry about the mix up last chapter. But I fixed it! 'except', 'accept' no worries thank you for pointing it out though. One last thing PLEASE REVIEW!


	8. Not so perfect date

Buffy reluctantly got up to follow Spike. She then stopped mid-step, "No." Spike looked at her confused.

"No what?" Spike asked as he looked at her.

"I am not going to follow you on a wild goose chase to find Parker, you probably don't even know where he is. You just want to get me away from the table to ruin my one nice date, well it isn't going to happen Spike."

"Buffy…" Spike started and trailed off as he saw Parker coming back to the table. "Bloody hell."

"What?" Buffy asked confused. She turned around to see what he was staring at. She looks as Parker sits down at the table. She turns around to face Spike again, "Oh you knew where he was did you." Before Spike can answer she turns around and walks over to where Parker is sitting. "Hey, what took ya so long?"

"Oh, I…I.. went and grabbed a quick drink." Parker replied.

"Oh" Buffy said not convinced. She then started to smell a perfume that reminded her of….Faith… Buffy looked at parker and on the corner of his mouth saw a smudge of lipstick that he some how missed. Buffy let out a chuckle of disbelief and got up and headed for the exit.

Parker got up and grabbed her arm and looked at her confused. "What is the matter."

Buffy glared at him "Oh nothing just the fact that you were sexing up another girl on this date kinda got to me a little bit. You didn't do a very good job cleaning off the lipstick. Now let go of me."

Parker let go and Buffy was about to leave but she turned back around and stared at him. "Oh bye the way you missed a spot." Buffy said and then hit him squarely in the jaw. Everyone in the Bronze just stared at her in disbelief. She turned around and left, leaving a bloody lipped Parker on the ground.

She got out into the parking lot when she remembered that she had come with Parker. It was getting cold out but she decided to walk. She got home and heard screaming inside so she sat on the porch. She sat there for a few minutes and burst into tears. She heard footsteps and looked up to see who it was. "Spike? What are you doing here?" Buffy asked between sniffs.

"Buffy, I saw what happened at the Bronze and I had to come see if you were ok. I felt awful. Parker is a real jerk and I tried to explain that to you but you wouldn't let me. I know I was a jerk to you, I really screwed things up. But Buffy please just give me a chance to show you, I can be a nice guy." Spike said to Buffy as she stared at him her eyes softened and Spike looked at her hopefully

"Spike it is going to take me a while but…..I am willing to try. I just don't know how long it is going to take before I will trust you. But will you just hold me…." Buffy said her eyes brimming with tears.

"Sure pet." Spike said. He walked over to her and held her in his arms and closed his eyes and sighed as he felt hot tears fall onto his shirt. His own eyes brimming with tears he tried to hold them back. _Gotta be strong…for her._ Eventually he could hold back no longer and the tears found their way down his face. Buffy felt the hot tears fall on her head. She turned up her head to look at him and saw the tears on his face. She brought her hand up and wiped them away with her thumb. Their faces were inches apart Buffy hesitated…..

A/N: I know another Cliff hanger, I'm sorry but I had to do it. It was too good of an opportunity to pass it up. Leave Comments for what should happen next! I love all of my reviewers you guys are great.


	9. First Kiss

Their lips were inches apart…Buffy hesitated. Spike pulled his head back to look at her. "Buffy…I understand if you don't want to kiss me…I know it is going to take awhile before you trust me and I am ok with that. But Buffy believe me, I think I might be falling in love with you…your all I can think about, you're in my head, in my dreams…Buffy to me you are everywhere." Spike looked at the shocked expression on her face and hung his head down. "I..I.. am sorry…I…I didn't mean to…" He stopped as he felt Buffy's hand under his chin as she lifted his head up.

Spike stared at her; she had tears coming down from her eyes. She then crashed her lips onto his. Letting go all of her emotions as she cried into the kiss. Spike kissed back with equal force before they had to part for a breath. Buffy looked into Spike's eyes, she opened her mouth to say something, but she was interrupted by the door being crashed open. Buffy turned around and her eyes went wide as she saw her father standing at the door. He had a beer in his hand; he took a large drink of the beer and went towards Buffy. "Get in the house." He said through gritted teeth. Buffy took one last look at Spike, fear etched across her face, before turning around and going into the house.

He said nothing to Spike; he just turned around and followed Buffy into the house. Spike felt that something wasn't right he went around to the back of the house and hid so that he could see in the kitchen were he saw Buffy sitting down at the counter. She stood up as her father came into view at the window, Spike saw Buffy slowly shrinking down as her father screamed at her. Spike saw him throw down the bottle of beer on the counter and it smashed, a part of the glass flew up and cut Buffy across the cheek. She immediately screamed and started crying harder. Spike heard her father scream, "Stop crying you filthy bitch!" Right before he hit her full force and she fell to the floor.

It took every once of strength Spike had to not run in and attack her father. He saw Buffy head upstairs and her father went into the living room. Spike looked at the tree he was hiding behind and then at the window a ways above it. Spike shrugged and started to climb up the tree to Buffy's window. As he got closer to the window he heard her crying making his own eyes brim with tears. He made his way to the window; it was open so he crawled in. He saw Buffy with her face down in her pillow. He slowly approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

She immediately sat straight up and turned around expecting to see her father, she relaxed when she saw it was Spike. She then started to try and cover up the large gash on her cheek. Spike pulled her hand away. "No need to hide it luv, I caught the show from the window." Spike said tears brimming his eyes as he saw the blood and cut on her cheek. "Do you have a first aid kit?" Spike asked.

"Uh…yea but it is in the bathroom." Buffy said. Spike walked out the door and creeped over to the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit. He heard the TV on so he figured it was safe. He quickly walked over to Buffy's room and locked the door behind him. He sat next to Buffy on the bed and got to work cleaning up the cut on her cheek. She winced in pain as Spike cleaned it up.

"Sorry pet this is going to sting a bit, but we don't want you to get an infection." Spike said as he smiled at her. He then put a large band-aid over it. "There we go." Spike said as he closed the first aid kit and put it on her bedside table.

"Thank you Spike, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here." Buffy said. She scooted over on the bed and patted the spot next to her. "Will you just stay with me tonight, I need someone…. not someone, I need you." Buffy said looking straight into his icy blue eyes as he stared into her emerald green ones.

Spike nodded and placed an arm around her waist as she laid her head on his chest. Buffy sighed and Spike could start to hear her rhythmic breathing so he guessed she was asleep. Spike knew that he was not going to get much sleep. He kissed Buffy on the top of the head and watched her as she slept….

A/N: Sorry it took a bit for me to review I have had a lot of things going on at my house. But I am going to finish this story if it is the last thing I do! (Spuffy rocks!)


	10. Morning After

Buffy woke up feeling tired and groggy, but nevertheless consent that Spike's arms were around her. The memories of last night came flooding into her mind. She felt tears springing to her eyes once more. How could everything in her life be so screwed up?

"Hey," Spike whispered, causing chills to run down her spine.

"Hi," she said shyly. "Didn't know you were awake."

"Been awake the whole night, luv."

She widened her eyes and looked up at him. "Really?"

"More or less."

"M-my dad…"

"He didn't come in."

"Oh," Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. "Good."

"Speaking of your dad…"

"No," she said quickly. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You wanna go out?"

What? Was he asking her out? Buffy stared at him. Was he actually asking her out at a time like this?

Spike saw the look on her face and got the idea of what she was thinking. He laughed. "No not like… I just meant you should get out of this house. Take a walk, get some fresh air. Something like that. Or…" he paused for a moment, touching her face. "You could come over to my place."

"No. My dad-" Buffy put her head down. "I just don't think…"

"Shhh its ok Buffy." Spike said as he held her in a tight hug.

Buffy felt like she was in heaven being here in his arms, he was here for her, comforting her when no one else could. She breathed in his smell and sighed, he had that unique smell of tobacco and liquor and she loved it. She felt her eyes start to get heavy as she drifted off to sleep once again in Spike's arms.

She woke up and noticed that she was alone. She looked around the room and guessed Spike had eventually decided to leave. She glanced at where he had been laying next to her and noticed a piece of folded paper. She frowned, picked it up, and opened it to read what it said:

_Dear Buffy,_

_I am sorry I left you, I heard your dad coming and didn't want you to get yelled at even more for him finding me in your room. I just wanted to let you know that I didn't leave because I wanted to, I wanted more than anything to stay there with you and watch you sleep. I don't know if you want to start a relationship or not, but if you are I just wanted to let you know I am ready and willing. Buffy believe me when I say…I think I am falling in love with you._

_Love, _

_Spike_

Buffy read the last sentence over and over again until it finally sunk in. Then all of a sudden she felt happier than she had felt in a long time, she had a large grin spread across her face that didn't seem like it was going to go anywhere for a while. She took the note and placed it inside her bedside drawer. She looked at the clock and groaned it was 2 a.m., she fell back on her bed in frustration, she felt like tomorrow would never come.

A/N: I just wanted to let everyone know that my friend Julesters helped me out with this chapter and I need to give her credit, everyone please read her work she is amazing and I just know you will love it. Also if you get a chance look at my new story 'A Sort Of Romeo And Juliet' and review and tell me what you think! Thanks, Love to everyone!


	11. Xander

Buffy paced back and forth through her room in front of her bed. She glanced at the clock and gave a frustrated moan. She looked around her room for something to do, she had already picked out her clothes for the next day and folded them neatly on her dresser, she had also rearranged her entire closet and taken all of her clothes out of her dresser and folded them neatly back in (3 times).

Buffy sighed and went over to her bed and sat down, then she shifted a little and ended up lying on the bed, and then slowly she worked her way under the covers. She smiled as she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Buffy woke up and swatted at the alarm clock until she heard it turn off not even taking the time to lift her head up to look at it. Buffy used her arms to lift herself up and flipped over, expecting to fall onto the other part of the bed, but she didn't notice how far over on her bed she was and she ended up falling on the floor with a tiny squeal.

She got up and rubbed her head and quickly got her make-up on and got dressed in her tight pink t-shirt and a nice pair of light colored blue jeans. She looked at herself in the mirror and was pleased with herself so she ran out of the bathroom and into the kitchen and quickly gulfed down breakfast. She said goodbye to her mother and left quickly.

She parked her car a little ways from the school and climbed out. She started making her way towards the school and saw Willow and Xander sitting at a table by themselves. She smiled and made her way over to where they were.

"Hey Wills, Hey Xand." Buffy said with the largest grin on her face ever.

"Hey Buffy." Xander and Willow said in unison.

"Buffy, you look extra happy today, is there anything we should know." Xander asked looking at her happily.

"Yea, Xander you'll never guess…" She was cut off as she gasped and felt a hand rest on her shoulder. She smiled before she even turned around, she knew exactly who it was. She saw the look on Xander's face turn from happy to pure hatred.

"What do you want? Get out of here, God can't you leave Buffy alone." Xander said glaring at Spike.

Spike was about to answer but Buffy cut in, "Xander, Spike is what I am so happy about. He has been really sweet and kind to me." Buffy looked up at Spike and smiled as Spike smiled back at her.

"You have got to be kidding!" Xander said, his anger rising rapidly. "Buffy he is using you! You think that he actually cares about you, he is just in it for the sex!" Buffy was about to reply but Spike cut.

Buffy looked at Spike's face and he looked as if he was ready to kill Xander. "Never! You think I would shrink that low! I would never use Buffy for that, I care about her and I..I…think I am falling in love with her." Spike said and his anger quickly faded and he looked down at the ground.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Oh please! Buffy he just going to keep sweet talking you until he gets what he wants then he is going to leave you!"

"No Xander, He won't. Spike has been there for me for the past few days, he has cared for me. But did you notice, oh that's right you were too busy sexing up Anya to give a damn about what I was doing! If Spike wanted me for sex he would have left by now." Buffy yelled at him furiously.

Xander shrunk down a little and stared at the ground. "Will…I'm sorry but…I…gotta…" Buffy tried to explain.

"It's ok Buffy, I understand." Willow said looking at her friend lovingly. Buffy gave Willow a quick hug and then went over to Spike. He took her hand and they walked away from the table together…..

A/N: Ok, I know you guys want Dru, But I am not sure really what to do with her, leave me a comment, e-mail me, AIM me with an idea of what you would like to happen with Dru Thanks! Spikelvr


	12. Admitting

Buffy and Spike walked away from the table hand in hand. Buffy had a large grin on her face as Spike gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

They went around the side of the school and found a vacant park bench so they went over and sat down their hands interlocking immediately. Spike and Buffy stared at each other smiling the entire time, neither one thought that there could ever be a happier moment in their lives.

Buffy rested her head on Spike's chest as he wrapped his arm around her and gently caressed her shoulder. Soon both of their eyes were closed and they silently thanked God for how lucky they were.

They heard a gasp and opened their eyes and looked up to see Cordielia, Harmony, and Drusilla. Drusilla had a smug look on her face as if she knew all along this was going to happen the other two looked like they were about to die.

"Do you realize what this could do to your rep!" Cordelia started to scream. " We would have to kick you out of our group….aren't you embarrassed to be seen with her? Why would you give up being with us for _her_? Don't you understand how dire this is? You know what we will just act like this never happened and if anyone says anything we will deny it." Cordelia went to grab Spike's arm but he pulled away and stood up furious.

"You know what Cordelia there is something I have wanted to say to you from the moment I met you. You are a Bloody Bitch! You think that everyone wants to just hang out with you and no one else when really we cant bloody stand you. You see this woman…" He said pointing to Buffy. " She is greater than you will ever be, you all treat me like an object while she treats me like a person and I love her." He said on the verge of tears but he shook them away. "Now if you don't mind I am going to go away so me and Buffy can be alone."

Buffy stood up and followed him around the side of the school where no one could see them. Buffy looked at him in shock at what she had just heard. Spike turned his head down. "I'm sorry I said I love you but Buffy believe me when I say it is true God I think I have always loved you.." He said as tears started coming down both of their faces. "I was just scared, but now I am not and I will always be here for you." Spike said as he stared deep in to her emerald eyes glistening with tears.

She stared back into his Sapphire eyes and saw that every thing that he had said he had meant and she knew in that instant that she had fallen in love with him.

"Spike.." Buffy said trying to get the words out.

"Yea?" He asked

"I love you." With that Spike looked up and looked into her eyes once more and saw it there in her eyes, he crashed his lips onto hers and they became lost and the only thing left was the two of them.


	13. Talking

Buffy pulled away from Spike and looked into his eyes and smiled. "I love you, Spike"

"I love you too Buffy." Spike said with the same large smile spread across his face.

Neither one thought that they could ever be any happier than what they were now. Spike sat down and Buffy scooted her way into his lap as Spike wrapped his arms around her. They sat there for a long time not talking just enjoying each other's company. Buffy sighed and rested her head on his chest.

"You know Buffy…" Buffy raised her head to look at Spike.

"What is it Spike?" Buffy asked afraid that he had changed his mind about the two of them.

Spike saw the concern and reassured her. "Oh no it isn't a big deal don't worry about it." The concern left her eyes and she relaxed a little. "I was just wondering…you know our senior prom is coming up and…."

"Oh my god Spike you cant be serious! You actually want to go to a public place were people can see us _together_. I mean you are crazy if you actually believe that I want to be seen with you." Spike looked at her shocked and hurt. Then he saw the small smirk on her face so he decided to play along.

Spike put on his best hurt expression. "Fine if you are going to be that way, I don't want to go with you anymore anyway, we are through!" And he started to walk away with a smile, he could just picture the look on her face. He had expected her to run after him and apologize for everything and say she was sorry…but she didn't. He turned around to look at her to find she wasn't there. _Oh shit she actually believed me, oh no I gotta go find her right now_. He was about to run off when all of a sudden he felt himself being pinned to the ground.

He looked up to see Buffy perched on top of him with a look of pure amusement on her face.

"I scared you ha ha." Buffy mocked as she stuck out her tongue.

"No you didn't and you better watch that tongue of yours luv I just may be tempted to bite it." Spike said with a grin.

"Oh yea come and get it." Buffy said before getting up and taking off with Spike closely behind her. Buffy got a little over confident and turned around to see how far behind he was.

He hadn't expected her to stop so he ended up plowing right into her and knocking them both over. Spike was sitting on top of her and he realized the position they were in just about the same time Buffy did and felt a bit awkward. He flashed an evil smile and decided to use this to his advantage. He started to tickle her all over and Buffy let out little squeals as she tried to pry his hands off of her ribs but they wouldn't budge.

After their tickle fest they sat on the ground next to each other as Buffy tried to catch her breath.

"You know luv we are supposed to be in school, that is what we came to this particular building to do."

"I know but I want to spend this day with you not with my books and teachers."

"So do you want to get out of here then?" Spike asked.

"Most definitely" Buffy said before slowly rising to her feet and followed Spike to his car. She quickly went over to the passengers seat and he went over to the drivers.

"You know you never answered my question about the prom."

"Oh my answer is yes." Buffy said with a smile. "No offense but you don't seem like the dance kinda guy."

"Now I am"

Buffy smiled and sat up straighter as Spike grabbed hold of her hand…..


	14. Talking Again

"Spike where are we going?" Buffy asked starting to get excited.

"It's a surprise, are your eyes still closed?"

"Yes" she sighed impatiently

Spike grabbed hold of her hand and led her outside of the car. She smelled the sea and felt the ocean breeze as Spike continued to lead her she felt the cool sand touch her feet. A smile crept across her face, she knew exactly where they were.

"You can open you eyes now" Spike said.

She opened her eyes and looked at what she saw before her. There was a small blanket and a picnic basket and she realized that he must have known all along that they were going to come here today.

She turned to Spike and grabbed his hand and they both laid down on the ground. After they ate they sat together and held each other.

"Spike?" Buffy started to ask

"Yea?" Spike asked looking at her.

"You…You never told me your real name." Buffy realized

Spike let out a sigh, he knew this was coming, "alright fine , I'll tell you on two conditions. One you have to tell me yours." Buffy nodded. "Two you can't laugh" Buffy nodded again. "It's…It's William…" Spike rolled his eyes and threw up his hand in frustration as he looked at Buffy trying hard to choke back the laugh.

"Oi' now you have to tell me yours" Spike said

"Mine is Elizabeth" Buffy said. Spike looked at her puzzled.

"How did you get the nickname Buffy?" Spike asked.

"Actually, my mom used to call me that when I was little and I guess it stuck." Buffy said smiling.

"How did you get the nickname Spike?"

"Oh well…ah I kinda got into a fight with some guy and he had a knife and I didn't have anything and the first thing I found was a railroad spike and…" Spike stopped as he saw the look of horror on Buffy's face. "Oh no I didn't kill him I just hurt him enough so that he wouldn't hurt me back."

Buffy's face relaxed a little and she leaned into Spike and sighed. She saw the look of puzzlement on Spike's face like h was trying to figure out something. Before she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep in his embrace….

A/N: Ok my story is starting to near its end I know I am sad…but I got a few more chapters maybe 2 or 3…. Anyways yea…


	15. Gone

Buffy gave Spike a quick kiss goodbye before slowly walking into her house. She hung up her jacket and walked into the kitchen. She saw her mother sitting at the counter staring into her cup of coffee.

"Mom is everything ok?" Buffy asked concerned.

At that Joyce turned up her head to look at Buffy and Buffy saw that her mothers eyes were red and swollen and there were faint lines were the tears had traveled down her face. Joyce sniffed and wiped at her eyes.

"He's gone." Joyce said on the verge of crying again. "He took all of his things while I was at work and left before I got home."

Buffy was completely shocked. "Mom, do you know why he left." Buffy asked on the verge of crying herself. Joyce nodded and handed Buffy a note as the tears started to fall from her face again. Buffy's hands shook slightly as she took the note from her mother. She looked at the paper and began to read.

Dear Joyce,

If you are reading this than it means that I am already gone I have been a burden to you and Buffy and your lives would be better without me. My drunken attitude is horrible and I can't stand to see you both suffer any longer. I have a new start now and I am going to do better this time. Joyce I am sorry but I feel I need tell you think, I think you've earned that. I was not faithful to you, I have had a girlfriend for about two months now I'm sorry. Please give Buffy the locket that was on top of this letter. The divorce papers with be coming in the mail don't bother to send anything to that address by the time it gets there I will be gone. I will never forget you or Buffy, I still love you both and that is why I must do this. I want you and Buffy to start over to, please have a good life…for me if anything do it for me. When you think of me remember the way that I used to be, remember the times I held you tenderly, remember the way that I loved you. Also give my love to Buffy.

Goodbye Joyce,

Hank

Buffy looked up from the not and was silentely crying. Joyce handed Buffy the locket and Buffy opened it and she burst. Inside the locket was a picture of the three of them together and on the otherside was a small inscription that said "I will love you forever" Buffy made her way over to her mom and they both cried together for a long time. Eventually the both headed upstairs to go to bed. Buffy entered her room and closed the door, she went over and sat down on her bed. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up and saw Spike standing above her, his eyes full of compassion.

"Spike will you ever leave me?" Buffy asked quietly.

Spike bent down and looked straight in Buffy's eyes and simply said. "Never" Buffy started to cry again and Spike wrapped his arms around her and held her tight

A/N: Hey sorry about chapter 13 I accidentely downloaded the wrong thing but I fixed it now so yea….lol Pleeeease review!


	16. The Next Step

Buffy opened her eyes, she noticed something wasn't right immediately. Her eyes widened when she realized what happened. Spike was lying next to her and they were both…

"Oh God" Buffy said as she sat up and pulled the covers around her. Spike woke up and sat up next to her. He slowly rubbed circles on her back as she stared forward in shock. "Spike did…did we?" She said turning to look at him. Spike looked down and nodded slowly. She frowned slightly she still didn't remember everything that happened. "Spike…was I…was I bad?" Buffy asked

"Luv you were wonderful I was having a hard time keeping up." Spike chuckled. Buffy nodded and leaned into Spike. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. Buffy sighed and continued to stay there. Then they heard a knock at the door and Spike practically fell off the bed. He quickly scooted off and underneath the bed and stayed still trying not to make a sound. "Yea mom?" Buffy asked as she looked around for her pajamas. Buffy quickly put them on.

"I just wanted to tell you I am going to work and I probably won't be home till around midnight because I have a meeting to go to afterwards." Joyce said from the other side of the door.

"Ok mom." Buffy said sighing slightly. "Bye"

"Bye, behave today Buffy." Spike slid out from underneath the bed and started to put on his own clothes. Buffy's face turned into a look of horror.

"Luv, what's wrong?" Spike asked getting concerned.

"Spike did we use protection when we…" Buffy asked afraid of the answer.

Spike let out a sigh. "Yes we did." He said. Buffy's face relaxed.

"Great" Buffy said. " I lose my virginity and I don't even remember it." Buffy said humorously. Spike chuckled and sat down next to her. She turned to him and they began to kiss, it started out sweet and innocent like their kisses used to be but it soon grew intense and heated. Buffy pulled away and said "Ok. Lets go watch a movie or something." Spike nodded and followed Buffy downstairs.

First they went into the kitchen and Buffy went over to the cupboard. "Do you want some hot chocolate?" Buffy asked not turning to look at him.

"Sure, oh yea do you have those mini marshmallows I can't drink it without them." Spike chuckled.

"Really?" Buffy asked shocked. "I am the same way." Buffy poured two large glasses of hot cocoa and added the mini marshmallows. Buffy gave Spike his glass and their hands brushed. Buffy and Spike both swallowed hard at the same time. Buffy sat down across from him and they drank there drinks in silence, feeling a bit awkward. They stared at each other for a moment before Buffy got up and took Spike's hand and led him to her room.

Spike realized what was going on and he grabbed her shoulders and turned her to make her look in his eyes. " Buffy are you sure?" Spike asked. She nodded. " I want the first time I remember to be with you, I want to wake up in your arms." And with that she shut the door to her room…


	17. Betrayal

Buffy gave Spike a farewell kiss and watched him walk down the sidewalk till she couldn't see him any longer and then she shut the door. She leaned against the door closed her eyes and smiled. That had been amazing, god she didn't know if she had ever felt so much joy in her life. Buffy stopped leaning on the door and went up to her room. She saw the stains on her bed, "Crap!" she said aloud to herself. She quickly picked up all of her sheets and put them in the washer.

After they were done she quickly put them back on her bed and went downstairs. She turned on the TV and started to flick threw the channels. She couldn't keep her mind on the shows her mind kept floating back to what had happened that day. How much more their relationship meant to her now. She had given the best gift that she could give, herself…

Around nine that night Buffy got restless and decided to call and talk to Spike. She went into the kitchen and picked up the phone. She dialed his number and heard it ring 2 times and then she heard someone pick it up.

"Hello?" She heard an elderly woman ask.

"Hi this is Buffy I was wondering if Spike was around?" Buffy asked.

"No I'm sorry dear he went to the Bronze a few moments ago."

"Oh, thanks anyway." Buffy said before hanging up.

Buffy frowned why hadn't he asked her to go? Maybe he just needed some time alone. Well she knew Willow and Xander were going to be at the Bronze so she decided to go anyway.

Spike was sitting by himself at the bar staring at his diet coke as if somehow it would get more interesting. He couldn't believe that Buffy had done that for him. She had given up the one gift that she had which was her virginity. She loved him so much and he loved her the same.

He felt a hand touch his should and he smiled. "I knew you would make it, took long enough." He turned around and felt a pair of lips crash on his immediately. Something didn't feel right and he pulled away and realized that he was not staring at Buffy but it was Cordelia, she smirked.

"Now wasn't that better than Buffy's."

"Spike…." Spike heard the familiar and turned to see Buffy her eyes welling up with tears. She turn and started to run out of the Bronze. Spike quickly got up and brushed past Cordelia.

"Buffy wait!" Spike yelled frantically. She turned and he saw the tears streaming down her face.

"So that was it huh? You just waited till you got some flesh and then moved on to the next girl. Xander was right about you. To think you actually loved me, well you got what you wanted you have my virginity, you stole it from me. The best gift I could give and you took it for granted and I…I Spike don't even start I heard everything, so you were waiting for her were you. Is she your midnight stop, was I not good enough. Thanks for making me a joke Spike." With that she turned around and hoped into her car and drove off.

Spike dropped to the ground and broke down, he continued to cry for over 20 minutes he sucked it up enough to make it home and went up to his room and started to write a note…

Buffy walked into the house her eyes swollen from the crying, she saw the out line of her mother lying on the couch. "Hey mom." Buffy said. Her mother didn't reply and she went over to her. "Mom." Buffy said and started to shake her. "Mom!" Buffy said getting more frantic. "Mommy?"…


	18. Here Without You

Spikes tears streamed down his face as he wrote his note down. _What have I done? God I should have known that wasn't Buffy when she touched my shoulder._ He continued to cry and some of his tears fell on the paper.

"Crap." He tried to wipe them away but there were visible tearstains on the paper. He signed and continued to write his letter.

Buffy sat in the kitchen with her head on the table. She listened to the paramedics and continued to cry until she started to shack violently. In the middle of her fourth sob fest she heard the phone ring. She sniffed back her tears and picked up the phone.

"Happy Birthday Buffy!" Willow screamed into the phone. " Wow I can't believe you are 18!" Buffy sniffled a little

"Huh?" Buffy asked.

"Your birthday…its today, don't tell me you forgot your own birthday."

"Oh no I am just a little tired, he will can I call you back?"

"Ok, bye Buffy." Willow said.

"Bye Will." Buffy said and lightly hung up the phone. The paramedic came into the kitchen with a look of pure sadness on his face.

"Ma'am …I'm sorry but we lost her." Buffy felt as if she had been hit by a train.. She started to break down again and she felt a hand on her shoulder..

"I really am sorry." He said as he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Here is the number to the Funeral home." He said and handed her a card. Buffy nodded and the paramedic nodded back and made his way out the door. Buffy watched as they hauled her mother's body out to the ambulance and then took off. Buffy went up to her room and laid down she brought her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"Happy Birthday to me." She said sadly.

Spike went to Buffy's class in the morning but she wasn't there. He went to a phone and called her house but no one answered. He also noticed that Willow and Xander were missing too. _ Willow wouldn't miss school if she was in a coma._ He thought. He realized that something was wrong. He put his head down guiltily, he figured it was because of him. He need to talk to someone, someone who would listen, who was kind and… the first person that came to his mind was Mrs. Summers.

He looked up the number to her work and dialed it, he heard it ring twice before someone answered.

"Hello, how may I help you?" The woman asked.

"Hi I am looking for Joyce Summers." Spike said. There was a silence on the other end of the line.

"I am sorry sir but Joyce past away just yesterday afternoon." Spike was overcome with shock. "Oh, thank you goodbye." Spike hung up the phone and fell to the ground and put his hands in his head. _Oh god what is going to happen now?_

A/N: Hey it is starting to get to the last few chapters. I may have around 2 or 3 more I am sorry to end this story because I really love it but everything has to end eventurally…


	19. Friends and A Letter

Spike rose from his place on the ground he couldn't imagine the pain she was in and he wasn't there to help her it made him clench his teeth in frustration. Buffy needed him and he couldn't get to her. He wiped away the tears from his eyes and grabbed his things before heading off.

"Oh my God, Buffy I am so sorry, I didn't know when I called and with the happy…" Willow said her eyes welling up with tears. Xander sat with his head down speechless he couldn't believe this had happened.

"It went by so fast…" Buffy said. "I never even got to say goodbye or that I love her." Buffy said beginning to choke up again. Xander placed a hand gently on her shoulder.

"She knows you do Buffy, and she loves you too." Xander said trying to cheer her up.

"God it's my birthday and yesterday and today are the worst days of my life. I mean with what happened with Spike and my mom…" Buffy started to trail off.

"Wait something happened with Spike?" Willow asked. Buffy looked down in shame.

"Will, I well we…" Buffy said looking in another direction afraid to look at her friends face.

"Oh." Willow said, looking down at the ground.

"Then I went to the Bronze to find him and the moment I see him he kisses Cordelia…" She says starting to get teary eyed again.

"That bastard!" Xander exploded. "Oh I swear the first chance I get I'll…" Xander started to rant

"Don't." Buffy said. "I don't want to hurt him, I want what makes him happy…"

"Buff…he betrayed you and you want what makes him happy?" Xander asked.

"Xander I know he did but that doesn't change the fact that I still love him." Buffy said.

Xander scoffed. "You don't know what love is." Xander said bitterly. "You think you can spend what a week with a guy and then you love each other."

"Oh." Buffy said getting up in a rage. "You think you know what love is. Huh? Sexing up Anya in a closet and blowing off your friends every damn minute. Tell me is that love? Cuz you sure fooled me." Buffy said in disbelief.

Xander looked at her in shock before hanging his head down. "I know I wasn't there for a long time and I am sorry, I just needed something to make me feel complete." His eyes started to well up. "I mean you guys are my best friend and I could take it when it was just Willow with the boyfriend, but then Spike came along and you went off with him and I was all alone I needed someone to turn too." Xander said the tears spilling from his eyes.

Buffy stared at him before running over to him and embracing him in a large hug. "Xander I will always love you, I am always here if you just ask. Just because Spike was here didn't mean you had to leave. I still wanted you here with us."

She felt Xander nod and then Willow came over and placed them both in a hug and they all cried together.

1 hour later

"So…" Buffy started before I called you over I made some arrangements. " We are going to bury her on Thursday which is in three days and since I am now eighteen I can legally keep the house I also have picked out her casket and her gravestone already so we are basically all set." Buffy said. So we just are going to meet at my house on Thursday at ten in the morning and you need to have you parents let you off if they can and they can come too if they want."

Willow and Xander nodded, before walking out the door. She looked down at the mat and saw a note sitting there, she frowned slightly before picking it up and bringing it into the house.

She looked at it: Buffy she rolled her eyes she knew what this was but she couldn't help but look at it.

Dear Buffy,

I know you don't want to talk to me and probably don't care about this letter but I had to write and explain to you what really happened even if you don't believe me…Buffy ok where do I start. First of all I would never just use you, I love you more than anything in this world. I would die for you if I had too. Buffy I did not know that was Cordelia behind me I thought it was you, that is why I turned around. If I had seen who it was I would have backed away and went home. I am sorry that it happened I would never kiss anyone but you and I hope you realize that… Buffy I love you more than anything in this world and I guess you don't care…so maybe I will see you around.

Forever yours,

Spike Giles

Buffy looked up. "Oh God, I screwed up…"

A/N: Hey probably around one or two more chapters either one long one or two short ones so yea it will probably be up today…


	20. Making Amends Last Chapter!

Buffy stared at herself in the mirror, there was no smile on her face, but there wasn't a frown either. She decided not to wear make-up today because in a few hours she would have cried it all off.

"Buffy?" Willow called from the foot of the stairs. Buffy picked up her purse and knocked a not to the floor. She picked it up and sighed heavily before stuffing it inside of her purse.

"I'll take care of that later." She said silently to herself. Buffy moved downstairs and saw Willow and Xander waiting at the bottom. Willow gave her a hug closely followed by Xander.

"Well lets get this thing over with…" Buffy said motioning to the door. They got inside the car and began moving on their way to the graveyard. "Thanks for coming Oz, you really didn't have to." Buffy said.

"I know…I wanted to." He said flashing Buffy a weak smile. They pulled into the graveyard and moved to the site. Buffy frowned slightly when she saw a middle-aged man stand by the freshly dug hole waiting for them.

"Can I help you?" Buffy asked.

"Oh hello." He said turning around. "My name is Rupert Giles, I am a priest. Someone informed me that your mother passed away and that you didn't have enough money for a service and I felt terrible. So I cam e to do this for free." He said with a smile.

"Thank you so much!" Buffy said moving over to him to embrace him in a large hug. Tears Sprung to her eyes as she continued to hug the man. She let go and backed away a little as he began the service…

Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Oz all held hands and looked at the freshly covered grave. They all sat down in front of it in a small circle.

"Oh yea." Buffy said. "I have something to tell you guys…about Spike." Xander breathed in sharply.

"What did he do this time? Buffy glanced down at the ground.

"That's just it he never did anything."

"Oh that's bull Buffy…" Xander started. "he is just lying to you." Buffy looked up straight into Xander's eyes.

"No, he's not, I don't know how to explain it but he isn't, I just…know. You should trust my judgment."

Oz decided to intervene. "I don't know about these two but I trust your judgment Buffy." Buffy sent him a 'thank you' glance.

"Well if Oz trusts it I do too." Willow said with a smile. Everyone turned to look at Xander.

"It…it is going to take a while but I will trust you." He grinned. Buffy gave him a hung.

"Well, we better be going." Oz said.

"Me too." Said Xander. They rose from the ground slowly, but Buffy stayed still. "Buff you comin?" Xander asked.

"No I am gonna stay for a while longer." She said

"Ok bye Buffy." Xander said touching her shoulder lightly.

"Bye." She turned around and sat Indian style in front of the grave. She saw Rupert Giles about to get in his car to leave. "Oh Mr. Giles!" Buffy shouted. He turned to look at her and stepped back out of his car and walked over to her.

"Yes Buffy?" He said.

"I was wondering could you tell me who told you about my mother?" Buffy said looking up.

"He said you would know who he was." He smiled before getting into his car and leaving.

"Buffy looked back at her mothers grave. "Oh mom I screwed up with Spike, I love him so much and I misjudged him…Please I am asking you mom if you can give me and Spike a second chance I don't know how but please do it…" She said a tear creeping down her face.

She rose from her place on the ground and turned around, she stopped dead in her tracks and saw something in the light make her smile. She moved toward him and he moved closer to her, until they closed the space between them. "Spike I am so sorry, I didn't…." He stopped her by putting his finger over her mouth.

"I know Buffy..I know." He started. "When you were gone I realized that I don't want anyone besides you for the rest of my life." He said with a large smile.

"Spike I am sorry about everything…I do love you."

"I love you too." Buffy gave him a kiss before leading him over to her mother's grave and they sat down in front of it, face to face and talked the day away…

A/N: That's it you guys! This story is officially finished. I want to thank everyone for the reviews you guys are so great and make me feel so much better. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
